the following playlist represents my (J) choices for the nice checklist at http://sinsual-by-design.net/thelist.html:
EXPERIENCE Willingness Yes/No
*Age Play* sounds interesting maybe
*Anal Sex* hard to say
*Anal Plugs-small* Yes
*Anal Plugs-Large* hard to say
*Anal Plug-public, under clothes* Yes
*Animal Roles* probably not
*Arm and Leg Sleeves (armbinders)* what’s that ;)
*Aromas* aromas?
*Asphyxiation* No
*Auctioned for Charity* ?!
*Bathroom use control* don’t mind, though is it hot?
*Bestiality* No
*Beating (soft)* Yes
*Beating (Hard)* Don’t know
*Blindfolds* Yes
*Being Serviced (sexual)* Yes
*Being Bitten* Yes: how strong: no idea ;)
*Breast Bondage* No
*Breath Control* can’t imagine
*Branding* Probably not
*Boot Worship* Yes
*Bondage (light)* Yes
*Bondage (heavy)* Yes
*Bondage (multi-day)* probably not
*Bondage-Public, under clothing* Yes
*Breast Whipping* No
*Cages-locked inside of* Hm, don’t know, sounds not too exciting
*Caning* Yes
*Cells/Closets (locked inside of)* yes(?)
*Chains* Yes
*Chasity Belts* Yes
*Chauffeuring* Yes
*Choking* hm, can’t imagine how that would feel
*Clothespins* what’s that supposed to mean?
*Cock Worship* Yes
*Collars- Worn in Private* Yes
*Collars-Worn in Public* hard to say
*Competions (with other subs)* Yes
*Cuffs (metal)* Yes
*Cutting* No
*Diapers* I guess no
*Dildoes* Yes
*Electricity* No
*Enemas* No
*Enforced Chasity* Yes
*Erotic Dance (public)* No
*Examinations (Physical)* No
*Exercise (forced/required)* ?
*Exhibitionism (friends)* Yes
*Exhibitionism (strangers)* Depends on the scenario
*Eye Contact Restrictions* No
*Face Slapping* Yes
*Fantasy Rape* Yes
*Fantasy gang-rape* Yes
*Fear (being scared)* No
*Fisting (anal)* No
*Following Orders* Yes
*Foot Worship* Yes
*Forced Bedwetting* No
*Forced Dressing* Yes
*Forced Homosexuality* Maybe
*Forced Masturbation* Yes
*Forced Nudity (private)* Yes
*Forced Nudity (around others)* Yes
*Forced Servitude* Yes
*Gags* Maybe
*Given away to another Dominant (temp.)* Yes
*Given away to another Dominant (permanent)* No
*Golden Showers* No
*Gun Play* No
*Hairbrush Spankings* No
*Hair Pulling* Yes, probably
*Hand Jobs (giving)* Yes
*hand Jobs (receiving)* Yes
*Harems (serving with other sub or subs)* Yes
*Head (giving fellatio)* Yes
*High Heel Worship* Yes
*Hot Oils (on genitals)* probably not
*Hot Waxing* probably not
*Housework (doing)* Yes
*Human Puppy Dog* No
*Humiliation (private)* Yes
*Humiliation (public)* depends where
*Hypnotism* No
*Ice Cubes* Yes
*Immobilization* Yes
*Injections* No
*Intricate (Japanese) Rope Bondage* Yes, not too extreme though
*Interrogations* Yes
*Kidnapping* Yes
*Kneeling* ?
*Knife Play* dangerous ;)
*Lectures for Misbehaving* Yes
*Lingerire (wearing)* Yes
*Manacles and Irons* Yes
*Massage (giving)* yes
*Massage (receiving)* No
*Medical Scenes* hm, depends
*Modeling for Erotic Photos* Yes
*Nipple Clamps* No
*Nipple Weights* No
*Oral/anal Play (rimming)* No
*Over-the-knee spanking* maybe not really exciting, wouldn’t mind though
*Orgasm Denial* Yes
*Orgasm Control* Yes
*Outdoor Scenes* Yes
*Outdoor sex* Yes
*Pain (severe)* No
*Pain (mild)* Yes, though that depends
*Phone Sex (serving the Dominant)* Yes
*Phone Sex (serving Dominants friends)* Yes
*Phone Sex (commercially)* No
*Piercing* No
*Public Exposure* Depends
*Punishment Scene* Yes
*Pussy Worship* Yes
*Rubber/latex Clothing* Yes
*Rope* Yes
*Scratching (giving)* No
*Scratching (receiving)* Yes, not too hard though
*Serving* Yes
*Serving as Art* Yes, though ?!
*Serving as Ashtray* No
*Serving as Furniture* Yes
*Serving as a Maid* Yes
*Serving as a toilet (urine)* wtf, but yes
*Serving as a toilet (feces)* hell no ;)
*Serving as a waitress* Yes
*Serving Orally (sexual)* Yes
*Serving other Doms* Yes
*Sexual Deprivation (short term)* Yes
*Sexual Deprivation (long term)* yes, but not toooo long
*Shaving (body hair)* yes
*Shaving (head hair)* no
*Skinny Dipping* Yes
*Sleep Deprivation* No
*Slutty Clothing (Public)* depends where
*Slutty Clothing (Private)* Yes
*Spanking* Yes
*Spandex Clothing* Yes
*Speech restrictions (when, what)* Yes
*Speculums* No
*Spreader Bars* Yes
*Standing in Corner* Not very exciting, but ok
*Straight Jackets* No
*Strap-on Dildos (sucking on)* Yes
*Strap-on Dildos (penetraed by)* Maybe
*Supplying new partners for Dominant* Yes
*Swallowing semen* Yes
*Swallowing urine* No
*Swallowing feces* No
*Swapping (with one other couple)* Yes
*Swinging (multiple couples)* Yes
*Tattoing* hema-like yes
*Teasing* yes
*Tickling* maybe
*Topless Beaches* yes
*Uniforms* yes
*Including Others* yes
*Verbal Humiliation* Yes
*Vibrator on genitals* Yes
*Voyeurism (watching others)* Yes
*Voyeurism (your Dominant w/others)* Yes
*Video (watching others)* Yes
*Video (recordings of you)* Yes
*Waxing Hair Removal* no
*Wearing Symbolic Jewelry* sounds boring ;)
*Weight Loss/Gain* no
*Whipping* Yes
*Wooden Paddles* No
*Wrestling* Sounds boring
I found the following list of cuckold types (http://www.zenfetish.com/2008/09/06/cuckold-types/, http://www.cuckyboy.com/) which is surprisingly rich and interesting. Let’s see in what category I fall and reflect on the issue a bit on the fly and in the end again :)
* The cuckold may have come to the lifestyle by finding out his wife is cheating
Hm, not really. Although on second thought: what brought me at all to the quite liberal approach towards what the mainstream calls cheating is that my ex-girlfriend one evening told me that she ” nearly” seduced a guy and thus nearly had sex with him. After thinking about it for a while I told her that this is very much a freedom I’d like her to have whenever she feels like it. I still didn’t think back then that I could enjoy in that, though this experience somehow opened the door to cuckolding for my mind-set.
* There is a certain aspect of deviance by the cheating wife
* The cuckold can seem almost tortured by the cheating wife’s behavior
Hm, being tortured, there is a kind of dialectic turn in being turtured and jealous while thinking about her being with the other guy, since, if it is a turture, it creates a sweet and very hot tension which is very enjoyable. I think it might be a similar turn which masochistic people have when confronted with pain. It can turn into something valueable, enjoyable and something you look forward to.
* The cuckolds say they enjoy it but if you really read what they’re saying in their posts or comments it’s almost as though they do not have choice and they lack of choice excites them
The lack of choice seems more to be a part of what excites them. I wouldn’t reduce it to it.
* At some level the cuckold does enjoy the emotional torture, much like a masochist
Oh yes, that’s what I commented above as well :)
* They enjoy the humiliation aspects of cuckolding (wimp factor, knows his place, small penis)
I certainly would enjoy my partner being with guys who are in some aspects preferable or simply different from me. Furthermore it is a turn-on to hear her being passionate about these characteristics in talks with me. This of course includes (and if only indirectly) the fact that I do not have these characteristics. I can enjoy in that a lot. I would also enjoy in her telling me that I have a small dick and that she is in need of a bigger one from time to time or similar things. There is a kind of humiliation which is very sexy. It might be a kind of self-irony which people can develop if they have enough self-esteem to look in the mirror and see their strengths as well as their shortcomings and think that the overall picture is very nice, so why not smiling and laughing about the “shortcomings”, as they are not that important after all.
* The slut wife sometimes includes him and sometimes she ignores him
The secret factor of being ignored is sexy but only if there is enough trust and if the primary relationship works well enough. I might be very sexy to hear about certain very spicy fact, say only half a year later. It’s a part of not being completely in control of the situation and let your own fantasy make up the rest which is in itself pretty spicy.
* The cuckolds tend to be more submissive in all aspects of the relationship and the hotwives tend to be more dominant in all aspects
Hard to say for me: I definitely could imagine myself in a very submissive role with another girl. With my partner however it might be too much to expand the submission in every day matters. The problem is to draw the line between the game and the serious parts of the relationship. On the other hand it might be pretty hot to have submission days where the borders are clearly drawn and also to have safe-words in case I need to break out of the submission.
* The cheating wife may practice sexual denial with the cuckold
This is definitely an aspect I like a lot about it. Not being allowed to cum in her for days and getting so hard all the time is a incredible hot feeling and tension. I really enjoy to be in chasity for days and lying with a hard-on beside her for nights. This combined with her at the same time being with other man would be definitely something I’d like.
Cuckold Type 2 - The non-traditional cuckold* Came to the lifestyle after talking the wife into it
That’s also the case for me, since my partner was way more conservative about sexual issues than me in the beginning of the relationship and the liberal hints and discussions where mainly motivated by me for some time.
* They love their hotwives having sex with other men
Of course, though I do not see why type one men wouldn’t do so. Only if we really think they only like the lack of control.
* Their hot wives enjoy teasing the cuckold and letting him be a part of it somehow (the cuckold is not necessarily always physically present with her and her lover, but she makes sure that he is a part of it by calling or telling him all the details when she arrives home)
This is fortunately true in our case: I wouldn’t like that *everything* happens behind my back, although as I mentioned above, some stuff may happen behind my back and the feeling to not know every single detail leaves some space for imagination. In general it is very very hot to be part of her flirtings and to know whats going on and with whom she has a chat at this and that point. It’s like we both play some naughty and hot games and nobody is excluded.
* The cuckold and the slut wife are open about all aspects of the wives sexual activity, no deviance
* The cuckold enjoys the hotwife’s sluttieness and her sexual power over him
I definitely enjoy if she’s very slutty from time to time. I however also enjoy that she is much more than that, that is her being for instance very smart and classy. It’s no cheap kind of sluttiness, although I like the sluttiness to be of a high degree especially when she flirts with other guys ;) I enjoy her sexual power over me, on the other hand I am not only submissive but I enjoy differrent facettes of who powers whom. Mostly we are clearly equal.
* The cuckold tends to have more desire and passion for his wife after she has been with another man
That is somehow true and it’s strange to admit this. I of course doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have desire and passion for her if she was not with other men. I think she is extremely attractive. Also I know that she is desired by other men and thus I wouldn’t be in need of a physical proof. So it doesn’t boost my self-esteem in that sense. It is not easy for me to localize the reason why the desire increases after her encounters or flirts. She is definitely extremely sexy when she is flirty with other men and the image of her fucking with other guys makes her extremely sexy as well. I always liked wild girls who go for what they like. Maybe it’s that. But there is even more to it I think: I like the thought of her bringing home traces of the other guy. It’s maybe the sexiness of the guy she is with which is with her after encounters and which I sense and in which I also enjoy. For instance the thought of traces of semen of the other guy being left on her body and I can lick some off or taste some while I kiss her is very sexy. I would even enjoy parts of his clothes on her, as for instance if she would sleep in his boxers from time to time. It’s a kind of semi-threesome then ;)
* These cuckolds tend to be only sexually submissive
I am also, though not exclusively.
* In all other aspects of the relationship the cuckold and wife are equal partners
I commented on that already: that’s our status quo.
Cuckold Type 3 - The Fem or Wimp Cuckold* The cuckold enjoys feminization brought on by the hotwife
Yes, definitely from time to time. I’m still a bit ashamed of that, but I definitly enjoy being dressed in female panties or stockings from time to time. And I love her to make me dress some stuff like that as little tasks during the day or before sleeping. It’s not that I need that all the time, but from time to time this is very sexy.
* The cuckold enjoys the forced femimization by the hot wife, made to wear panties, make up, bras, etc.
Bras do not sound sexy to me ;) The other stuff surely is sexy ;)
* The cuckold enjoys the humiliation of not being man enough to handle his wife
Interesting, didn’t really think about that yet. I would rather see it from the other side: I like that thought that she is sexually demanding enough and hedonistic enough to ask for more then a conservative “being stuck to one sexual partner”. There’s to much sweeties out there not to try one from time to time. I am pretty good chocolate, though why not go for ice-cream and cookies and cakes … I like girls who do not let conservative values restrict their natural libido. It’s something about being revolutionary and honest about emotions which makes her very sexy.
* The slut wife tends to be dominate in all aspects of the relationship
* The hot wife may or may not include the cuckold in her sexual activities
* The cuckold has definite bi-sexual tendencies
Slight ones. I enjoy of thinking about being with her and a guy. To have sex with a guy along is however a thought which keeps me cold. And, yes, I don’t think I oppress my bi-sexuality. I like cock, if there’s a hot girl near to take use of it ;)
* The hot wife may use a strap on dildo on her fem cuck
I guess I wouldn’t like it. At least not her doing this, another girl maybe, or a guy in a threesome.
* The hot wife may include the lover in using the cuck for her pleasure (oral and anal)
Yes, definitely a hot thought. Though only if I can trust the lover enough.
The following tendencies seem to be present in all types of cuckolds* Cuckolds tend to be highly educated and rely on their minds a lot
True in my case.
* The difference between a strict hot wife relationship and a cuckold relationship is in the cuckold relationship the hotwife is always in sexual control, she is the one who makes the decisions about other men and often controls the sexual behavior of the cuckold. In a strictly Hot Wife relationship the husband will be in control of who the Hot Wife meets and fucks.
Hm, in our case this is more balanced, since she usually includes me a lot while flirting with guys. Though I never choose guys for her.
* Cuckolds tend to enjoy masturbation and fantasy
I definitely do. And I always think about ways to spice up our sexual lifes by little games and tasks. And I’d like to include others way more in this, but cannot find anybody ;)
* Cuckolds are not necessarily very physical in their love making skills and tend to be more mental and emotional
Hm, I think I am a good lover, also physically. On the other hand, I am pretty mental and making love is way more interesting if there is some depth to it, like being part of a game.
* Cuckolds are not easily turned on by just the physical aspects of sex itself, they tend to need more mental, visual and aural stimulation then the average male
Yes, I commented already on that. Though I am also very physical/visual. I get very easily aroused. Altogether, the two things do not exclude each other.
* Cuckolds may have less testosterone than say a Bull who can get excited by physical aspects of sex
* The act of being cuckolded is appealing because of its mental and emotional aspects and it is often long and drawn out over a period of time with the wife dating and such
Yes, this fits definitely.
* The cuckold loves feeling cucky angst for hours upon hours until the slut wife comes home and allows relief
Also true.
* The cuckold my be fixated on the idea of his penis is not enough to pleasure his wife and take pleasure from her getting a larger cock for her lover
I commented on that already above.
* It is very difficult to define a cuckold relationship, we are all different and ultimately if you call yourself a cuckold and your hotwife has sexual activity with other men and she controls it, then I guess you are one
That summarizes pretty much my comments I guess, since I seem not to clearly fall in any of the types, but rather in all of them a bit. The types are very interesting since the high intersection of my passions and interests with things listed is indeed remarkable and shows that the list is pretty good and thoughtful.
There are other aspects of cuckolding which I like.
For instance it deconstructs the traditional picture of the male stereotype: the guy who is in control of his wife and who owns her in a sense. If she is allowed to look sexy to other men then only in order to make them jealous and/or to show off (like with their new sportscar). He may look after the girls when sitting in a cafe but she is strictly forbidden to make eyes to a bypassing cute guy, etc.
A cuckold has a different picture: he is glad to be with his partner cause he loves her. He loves her indeed so much that he doesn’t want her to be in a cage. He is very sympathetic with the thought of sharing her beauty with the world and the thought of her passions being realized on all possible ways. This is part of his love to her. Since he loves her in her very being and blossoming he can deeply enjoy in the thought of her realizing and blooming all over the place. He doesn’t show off with her wife, he doesn’t even need to. The self-esteem of a cuckold is not restricted and endangered by this liberal approach, the liberal approach is rather a proof of his masculinity. He really “stands his man”. That of course makes him very attractive to her.
There are other things I like about it, but this will be another post.
i want you to pick up one of my panties tonight and go in them to bed. i might come to bed later on and i want to find you in them. you are not allowed to masturbate before that!
;)
I picked out some transparent, very hot pants from L’s cupboard and after showering I dressed them on. They felt really great on the skin: I got already in the bathroom a semi-erection and it was so sexy to feel my dick growing and pressing against the soft material of the panties. It’s even nicer to touch myself over the panties and to feel some pre-cum sticking against them from inside. Not much after I went to bed L came and she began to touch me over and in the panties, and it felt just unbelievable. It was great to sense how turned on also she was by it. Soon we got enough turned on to have some real sex. I kept the panties on while we were fucking and while she went down on me. It was a very interesting feeling: I was clearly bending my usual gender role, but without falling in any cliche (like sissification). It was more that by bending my gender I actually found well and confirmed in it: since what is most uncomfortable being man is the little playfulness it allows in our culture. By bending these borders one can create one’s own space which I feel is not possible in the little space the cultural male stereotype leaves open which itself feels more like the intersection of everything boring and grey. It is not that this is the way I permanently want to be, but it feels great to have the freedom to be like that and have fun changing from time to time. Females have this changes on an every day bases by for instance having the choice between dressing a skirt or jeans, just depending on the mood. If my identity is also gender identity then I feel like emancipation is also breaking free from this role-restriction. It’s an important part of self-development, liberation and it’s great fun.
It is however not an easy step: I was a bit ashamed (in front of myself and L) in the beginning and also (and even more) in the end when my sexual tension was gone. I even undressed the panties, although I think it would feel great to sleep in them. Let’s see, next time maybe :)
Altogether it was a great experience and I hope to receive such a task again :)
Touching yourself has itself a touch of privacy, maybe even of a hidden secret. Exposing your little dirty secrets to somebody you’re really turned on by is itself a big turn on, isn’t it?
The whole thing gets even more interesting if you’re touching yourself and thinking of somebody else and not your partner. What now if your partner would find out, what now if you would have to report for one week every masturbation to your partner: the time and the way and the imaginations you had… This dare is about writting a little diary of dirty thoughts and masturbation:
I think I’d like to be “tasked”, well if you like the idea of course.
Nothing is more alluring then a beautiful girl sitting alone in the park reading a book. All guys secretly watch her, even if they are there with their girlfriends. It gets even more exciting if she from time to time looks back at you and you don’t know if she’s just thinking or really looking at you. Most exciting is if you get more and more the impression that she might flirt with you.
For the girl it is of course also very exciting, as she knows that she is in the center of all attention, even more so if she’s dressed in a sexy way, or if she has hot underwear under which nobody knows.
Next time when it’s really nice weather and you have some time or can devote some time for reading I want you to go to the park and read there. You should of course dress pretty attractive.
To make erotic shots is very nice, but isn’t it even more exciting to do it outdoors? Sure, there is a little bit of a danger to be caught. On the other hand, doesn’t make this eventuality the whole enterprise even more interesting? But to lift the skirt and show your pretty butt for a second at some silent corner in the park doesn’t cause too much risk, does it?
L: yes yes yes, we’re gonna do this, babe! :D also in a big supermarket or in a dressing room while trying new clothes ;)
Isn’t it very exciting to have some secrets, especially dirty and classy ones? To have this “if they would only know”-thought. In this case your secret is the you dress some super hot stockings with suspender under your skirt while you go shopping. You will feel super sexy, especially when you pay at this young guy and think about how horny he would get if he would only know your little secret. It will feel very exciting to feel the suspender touching your skin while walking and to be afraid that a sudden strong wind blow would uncover your secret or that the top of the stockings look out of the skirt.
L: oooooooooooh i love this!!! :D
i want you to pick up one of my panties tonight and go in them to bed. i might come to bed later on and i want to find you in them. you are not allowed to masturbate before that!
;)
I wanna be dared one of these days to wear certain pants you choose for me. and when i’m at home i have to wear only them without any pants (trousers) or skirts above. stockings allowed. and then i have to make photo-shots as a prove! :)
[J] love it love it :)
This is a funny one ;)
Pictures represent, so much that it is reported of various indigines to be afraid of them cause they see something like ghosts in them. A sign reaches all the way though to what it signifies … booo.
So, let’s say you’re into somebody and really wanna have a hot time with him/her, but it’s somehow not possible. You can’t let her/him into your pants? Maybe, maybe not! What about caring a small picture of him/her in your pants. There are two options:
It would definitely be a turn-on to think that somebody(’s picture) is so near your sweet spot all day long or that you(r picture) is so near to somebody’s sweet spot whole day long.
[L]: hahaha, i like this a lot! :D sweet and tempting :D